Sorry had my #'d days mixed up. As most of you know we are back in the hospital, looks like we will be for a while. They placed a catheter in her yesterday a 3 way....Deja Vu... One just like Marshall had all those years ago. They were able to irrigate her bladder and get a lot of clots out. I don't want to turn this into a pity party, because I'm not the important one she is. I'm trying to be strong for her, but my stomach hurts so bad that I feel like I'm going to throw up! My family is again split up. Ty and the boys flew home yesterday amongst all of this commotion and I didn't get to tell Ty or Nate goodbye which broke my heart but I had to go to peds sedation with her. They put the catheter in and she had some relief. Some of the pain and discomfort now is from the catheter being in. I just never thought that life would be this cruel to have to watch another child suffer through the exact same thing. Life isn't fair at times. I try to stay strong and positive but how do you do that when you keep getting shoved down!!! I just don't understand she started with this on June 24th and it was bad but then it eased up, she was able to get out of the hospital and it was getting better it was actually gone last week. Her urine had been yellow with only a few tiny specs of clots then last Friday almost over night it returned with tons of blood and huge clots!! I feel like I'm having a really bad dream and can't wake up. I have begged and pleaded with God to please heal her and make her better, I've also told and asked God that if you are going to take her to please don't let her suffer like this in pain, for He is the only one who knows the future and the plans he has for her. I guess you could say I'm dazed and confused and totally numb, I'm angry and aggravated. I can only imagine what she must be feeling!! I just wish he would take me instead!!
Marshall was here when she was screaming in pain and he was crying so hard he couldn't stand to see her in pain and I am sure it must have brought back a lot of memories.
They are starting her on a dilauded drip to help manage her pain. I know I have asked this before but please help us ask God to heal her completely. I want her to be the spunky little girl that she is!!! I don't want to have to be here like I was with Marshall for 9 months, but then again I will do what ever it is that I have to do to bring her home safe and sound. It was easier with Marshall in the fact that my kids were all here with me. I think that is part if why my tummy hurts there is no more Nater hugs for me to help ease some of this pain!!
Really Trusting In Him!!!
Kelly
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1 comment:
We are praying for Amelia and your family. My son, Eli, 2, has not been through bmt yet. I admire your commitment to your children. Sending you wishes of yellow pee and that you will have all of your children with you soon.
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