PROVERBS 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths STRAIGHT.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The BIG Pink Elephant in the room!

Well, yes, in case you haven't noticed I am avoiding at all cost the big pink Elephant in the middle of the room. Am I happy that we are going to Minnesota for transplant, yes. Am I ready to go to Minnesota for transplant, NO. Do I wanna go to transplant? NO! But 100% am I avoiding the subject and the packing and preparing for this journey.....Absolutely.
I have so many mixed emotions going on right now! I know this is not all about me, but I am mom and responsible for so many lives here...4 others besides my own to be exact. Amelia is also and emotional roller coaster. Once again I am being blamed for her going to transplant, it's my fault that she is going or so she thinks. That's what she told my mom, and my mom stopped her in her tracks and explained that her blood was sick. Still yet, she has to have someone to lash out at and I guess who better than me. I am now know to her as the "fun sucker", because she thinks I suck the fun out of everything. Oh well Marshall blamed me too, he got over it and realized that it really wasn't my fault. Maybe some day in time she will to. I think she is just ready to go and get this over with, the waiting is the worse. I am hoping that the insurance papers and all have been signed and above all I am praying that the donor is still available so we won't have to go through that whole search again. Although the doctors have told us that she has a lot of potential donors and that it should not be as hard to find a donor for her as it was for Marshall.
So many things are up in the air, I think my husband is going to drive us up there and then drive back home. I am nervous about that as he will be driving back by himself. I think in the long run it will be best that way he and Marshall can drive back up a few times during the summer for some visits. My mom and dad will be driving up with us also and we will use their car while we are there. Their car is a Prius and won't cost so much in gas.
I pray that this time transplant journey will be different than Marshall's but with 100% the same end result! I hope we have a much more "normal" transplant. Where we will not be in the hospital for 5 solid months! Please pray with us that she flies through this with very VERY little complications and trips back into the hospital. She is a tough little fighter and I know that she will do great given her history and attitude. I just hope that we don't get thrown any curve balls.
We did her counts about two weeks ago and they, for now are pretty much holding steady, her hgb was 6 and her platelets were 22 the ANC count was about 520, which is why I am glad that we took her out of school.
Well gotta run. Thanks again for your continued prayers and as we get closer to our leave date I will try to update you, but know that once we get settled in, in Minnesota I will update more on a regular basis.
Blessings,

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